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The Scottish folk are crazy folk
As folk can be.
Whilst walking by the sea-
Bundled in our fine, knit cloth,
Hats firmly placed.
The North is the worst; wind,
Non stop, sea is in a squall
Freezing storms
And ominous fog horns,
Echo down the bay.
A long tradition-
Played mid January, with frosty glee.
You will see- a young chap or lass
Jump right into the freeze.
Turn blue, somehow they won’t?
Stand for hours,
You could and watch.
Painful, English men cringe.
A bit later - shall all emerge?
This sport is not just a past time
for young men but lassies too!
Hardy Northerners; Are these folk
Crazy!
Swimming in the sea.
“40 people killed in Bagdad bomb blast”
“London Pigeon with one leg Stirs sympathy”
“Priest Disgrace continues”
Flick passed massacres, train derailments,
bombs, children shot, woman raped,
Church abuse and child pornography
Not a tear slips from dry eyes
Not a sickening sigh, disgust or despise
Until you stop and read again
“A one legged pigeon!” you cry.
Tears well up in readers eyes
As Skippy hops the London hotspots
Beggars we walk by, Ignored
Till Skippy, one limp wing, stub leg
catches our attention with a hundred ‘likes’
“Skippy not seen in days”
and hang by each word until
reported nationwide:
“Skippy spotted living Hyde Park life”
And finally with one last cute picture
We can rest easy tonight.
*Authors Note: this is an art house pigeon I drew whilst waiting for my train in Edinburgh. It had more than one leg but it's the only pigeon I have access to for the purposes of this poem*
The number of anonymity
You can hide your name
Hide your face
Hide your age
or your race
despite all this
anonymity is fake.
Behind your Alias
is a trace.
Number to your name
A number that knows
what you’ve seen
A Number that knows
where you have been
that stalks you down
through dark channels
From P*rnKingdom
to DirtyDreams
And when your crimes
unfold. That number
bears witness
to what is told.
The jury will believe
the science of security
You are all noobs!
Because I can’t configure
these intertubes!
This servadors a jerk
the bastard won’t work
it keeps discombobulating
And what is this propagating?
My engrish is gret!
And my mate is a Tech
I’m losing millions an hour
Because of diz server tower!
So get me back up now!
…
Oh… my wireless is down
These two poems written as part of an exercise for a school project circa 2007/08 (Author was still young and ignorant)
I am not alone.
Always someone around me,
helping me, working with me.
Together, we make great things.
Alone, we are useless.
I am not useless.
Always someone needs help,
Talking to me, gossiping.
Together, we create amazing cakes.
Alone we would be lost.
I fear the bin, in there
Things are useless and obsolete.
Not like in the kitchen
I am happy here.
I hold this world up.
From a child’s smile on sugar paper, pasta necklace.
To a boyish décor: grim reaper or Grand Prix car.
Girly gods, with white grin, horses in sunsets,
Barbie’s Ball
Or memories, pinned to walls with historic hands.
The schedule of a busy mum:
Red chipped nails yank,
The paper from my point.
I hold them firm. Keep them together.
On my cork board I wait to do service.
On white emulsion walls or bright pink doors,
Dream catchers, pinned to Artex ceilings.
Love notes on the wall
phone number exchanged in a rush - old school fling.
I hold up romance!
That last dance, from a tiny flutter of butterflies
To fierce love, future.
My gallant gold metallic armour shines bright -
Catching the sun that reflects on white wash walls.
I am the glue that never dries out.
I am the Blue-Tac that always adheres.
Young, old, antique, unique.
I hold up somebody’s world.
A smiling face captured in sun,
A useful list; sauce, flour, cabbage…
This is their world And I hold it up.